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And here the physical aspect ramps up. Mar is used to being an object of desire – it continues to be an asset. I have warm memories of returning to a life in New York from Oregon, and living in a house with woman (myself included) who blowdried their hair upside down, shaking and flipping, already dressed for a night out where beauty was of great consequence. Urgently seeking beauty for a shapeless future that, for all we know, might depend on it. |
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"Mar is used to being an object of desire"
Really? I always saw her as not confident enough for that to be possible.
beauty and insecurity go hand in hand
You don't have to be remotely confident about who you actually are as a person to know that if you acquire X, Y and Z ( the right hair, make-up, clothes) people will eye you up, and treat you like you've got something they don't have.
Sometimes it's nice because those are things you can ultimately control and win at with enough time and money at your disposal. But for a lot of women X Y and Z are just feminine drag, symbols, and being comparatively ignored when you take those things off can make insecurity worse.
I think it’s possible for Mar to be aware of the way other people tend to perceive her and cognizant of the power that comes with that but still lack the confidence to believe she’s a worthwhile person. Especially if any part of her self worth depends on her ability to be attractive.
I guess I can understand that. I remember being told that I was a good guy for a long time before I actually believed it. I'd like to think they weren't telling me that just to make me feel better.
Late comment (and perhaps spoilers!) ahoy!
Perhaps I'm projecting a bit, but I enjoy the foreshadowing of Jane's attraction to Mar here. It seems like in the first panel she's watching her blow her hair, and when Eve asks her a question she looks down at her phone- strategically placed for quickly acting like she's not looking- but with a bit of blush and distraction evident.
Plus that 'Yeah' while they look back at Mar being fabulous.