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Being (such) a (fucking) Mom in New York is hard. You have to have a salary that continues to rise, just to maintain the standard of living you’re used to. A constant swim upstream. This is where Marigold draws the line for the next few years. She’s no longer concerned with purposeful work or independence – she only wants love, and will do any kind of work to make space for that. |
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As an adult dad, this is one of my favorite monologues. Moving toward responsibility and comfort, instead of challenge and change and freedom, is mostly a nice change when you can get a job that supports it, and I think Drunk Marigold explains the feeling really well. But even nice changes can be hard to accept, both for you and others. Marigold is doing a good job of it, but it will still be a little too new and different for Hanna and Eve for a while yet.
I empathize with Marigold so much. Being a mom in NYC just seems so unattainable. To get the space and income to afford to do it you have to keep diving into more and more demanding jobs hoping you'll eventually find that flexible position that'll finally let you back down and have the flexibility when you need it.
This is one of my favorite Octopus Pie moments.
I feel so much for Marigold here, despite having the complete opposite view. There's always been a sort of vilification for this line of thinking when it comes to young adulthood, and accusing somebody of "settling" like it's something entirely abhorrent. Life is pretty darn abstract and people go about their lives the way they choose to. Choosing a job that you might not like for the comfort it brings isn't giving up, it's just another choice for a different kind of gratification. I've always admired that in people. Whether it's Marigold's side or Hanna's side, both of them are just working towards somewhere they can be happy.
when I first read this I wasn't out of college just yet. I didn't understand Marigold's words outside of her own arc, because I was going to college to work with something I liked, right? Right? Turns out I like it in theory, and when I do it for myself (it's graphic design), but I don't like the work industry, places, hours, anything. Most of my work day is obligation and misery now, almost 5 years later.
And I don't mind, because I'm moving into our first appartment with my girlfriend of 7 years, because I came out of infinite closets in this time, and tightened bonds with my friends and family. I work because I have too, and where I work now is a comfortable place with good people even if the work itself drives me mad. Because at the end of the day I can come to the ones that matter the most, everyday, and this is all I want forever. It doesn't have to be meaningful or important. Just the people matter. The love.